Today’s the day when men comb the local Hallmark store, settling on that perfect sentiment for that perfect someone. Why we men can’t get our act together and shop ahead of time, instead of thumbing through the slim pickings left-behind, full of fart jokes and armpit hair (*chortle*), I’ll never know.
At any rate, today’s also a day when Whitman, Russell Stover and Godiva rake in millions from their chocolate sales. As a recent convert from Sweet-tooth-ianity, I know how easy it is to justify a nice big box of chocolates that you’ll share with your sweetheart over the next week, and end up tossing the empty box the next day. Maybe the dog ate them.
So, since this is the first Valentine’s I’ve celebrated since losing 70+ pounds and dedicating myself to a more fit lifestyle, I’ve been thinking about different ways to celebrate that don’t focus on candy and comfort food. Here are some suggestions:
Plan a meal and cook together. The entire process, from finding a recipe to enjoying a home-cooked meal together, can be a fun and romantic experience. Flip through some cooking magazines together, folding down the corners of the ones you like. Put together a meal using your favorite recipes, complete a shopping list (my wife and I love grocery shopping together - great people-watching!) and gather all your ingredients. Play some Norah Jones in the background, assemble your meal, and enjoy a peaceful, romantic, candle-lit evening in.
Do something you’ve never done before. Shake your routine up - take a yoga class together, take dancing lessons, go to a local play or operatic production, listen to a local band’s live performance, visit a museum exhibit or local art gallery together. An evening out together doesn’t have to center around a meal at a restaurant.
Hold hands. Ok, I have to admit, my love language is touch. I tell you what though, there’s nothing as affirming as holding hands. Do you know what your significant others’ love language is? Do you know what yours is? Communication is one of the most important things to having a healthy relationship, and you can’t communicate if you don’t speak each others’ languages or if you don’t know what language you speak to begin with.
There’s probably a few books on this, but in a nutshell - you can fairly effectively categorize love languages into 5 basic categories - touch, verbal, quality time, gifting and service. Pay attention to how you seek affirmation, and how your SO affirms others. Does your wife buy random little silly gifts for people who are having a bad day? Does she frequently ask if you bought something for her when you run by Barnes & Noble after work? That may be how she asks if you thought about her today - she may be asking if you love her. Communication is important, and requires more than just talking. Take some time to discover what your significant other’s love language is - then you can truly say “I love you.”
Look at your wedding video and old photo albums together. Bring out those boxes of memories you keep tucked away and flip through them together. Maybe start a new scrapbooking project together, or re-watch that wedding video. Sharing pleasant memories together serves as a powerful reminder of how important that person you share your life with is to you - it’s easy to lose sight of that amidst the day-to-day drudgery.
Take the evening off. Unplug from your phone, your computer, the Internet, the TV, whatever it is that diverts your attention from one another. Remember, just because you’re in the same room does not mean you’re spending time with one another.
My wife and I are making dinner together tonight - a wilted spinach salad and mojo-style fondue with chicken and steak. If it goes well, I’ll share the recipe tomorrow.
How about you - how do you plan on celebrating Valentine’s day? What are some things you do to unhook food from celebration and special events?