The Life Ledger

Fitness is a way of life.

During my active weight loss period on Optifast, one member of the medical staff told an interesting story about a species of crab called the Mexican Crab. According to the story, this species of crab has an interesting trait - if you put one two in a bucket, they are more interested in dragging each other back into the bucket than attempting to climb out themselves. Real or not, the anecdote illustrates an important lesson in making lifestyle changes - eliminate the Mexican crabs in your life.

I bring this up because I’ve had some pretty nasty bouts with emotional eating lately. Last night, I got home at 10:00pm from work and immediately started emptying our cabinets - bread, peanut butter, pretzels - the world was my oyster, and I intended to gobble it up. Talking to me didn’t work, as I was aware that I was emotionally eating; making alternative suggestions didn’t work, as I wanted everything. My wife finally had to grab my arms and physically restrain me for a moment to give me a chance to get a grip. Afterward, I put all the crap away and had some peaches. I sure love my wife.

People say a support system is necessary to successful weight loss and lifestyle change, but they don’t mention how you have to be an active participant. You have to be willing to listen to advice and share your dilemmas and struggles. You can be your own Mexican crab, dragging yourself down by giving in to the urges and emotional battles, and not seeking support when you need it.

Not being a Mexican crab also means helping others where possible, even if they don’t necessarily want it. I constantly tell people how many calories are in the foods they’re eating - it’s become a joke among my co-workers, but several now read the label of everything they eat. They may still eat the food, but I’m not trying to change their habits - just their awareness. I also talk about food with my parents - recently, I suggested a hormone-free brand of beef, which they said tasted good enough to warrant the extra price. I constantly discuss the “real cost” of food - the impact on our bodies from eating refined and processed crap, and the impact on the environment from growing and processing corn. I have to keep in mind though - being a Mexican crab can be not listening and sharing, or going overboard and prostletizing.

Thanks to my wife, I satisfied my emotional angst last night without resorting to comfort food. I thank her every day for her awesome, positive presence in my life. Thanks to Dave, who began his weight-loss and lifestyle change journey before I began mine, I saw how achievable lifestyle change is - it’s certainly not easy, but the benefits are innumerable and worth the effort. I thank both Dave and my wife for holding me accountable.

And thanks to you, Life Ledger readers, who knowingly or not also help - if you are reading this, you are a member of my support network, someone I am transparent and accountable to. I appreciate your support, and offer the same.

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I have a new addiction - health food bars.

To understand where this addiction came from, you have to understand a little about the Optifast program I underwent recently.  After an initial consultation, you begin a 12-week strictly-regulated diet, eating only Optifast products.  (There are other aspects, like monitoring by doctors and nutritionists and educational classes, but those aren’t pertinent to this story - I just don’t want to make Optifast sound so much like a scam.)  For the first three weeks, you only get liquid products - soups and shakes.  After three weeks, you get to eat one of three types of Optifast bars.  And let me tell you, after three weeks of liquid, those bars taste good.

It’s not the taste that got me though; it’s the idea that health can be regulated through small portions of prepared foods in bar form.  I not only became used to the ease of “meal” preparation, I think I actually find emotional comfort in eating bars - I don’t have to spend energy or thought on what to eat, beyond what flavor I select.  For someone who used to plan Thursday’s dinner during Tuesday’s lunch, and all meals in between, based on what I craved at that moment, there’s a lot of emotional comfort to be found in trusting one little bar to have all the nutrients I need, the right portion I need, and a controlled amount of calories.

I realized today I’ve been lying to myself.  Sure, I select bars made with all-natural ingredients, no trans fats, sweetened with agave nectar, high in protein, sold at Earth Fair, made with hemp seed or flax seed or enriched with Omega-3’s.  I am the $400/glass wine snob of health bars.  But I realized, as I was munching my 180-calorie Hemp Java bar on my way back to work, even the healthiest health bar is still a manufactured blob of stuff that satisfies my emotional needs.

This is just one more emotional hook I’m going to have to sever.  Fortunately, I at least now have the awareness to recognize my emotional hooks - chex mix was the first I battled after completing the Optifast program, apparently health bars are the next.  Not to say that health bars won’t have a place in my life - after a raquetball game or during an exceptionally busy day, they can come in handy, and at least I have now learned what brands I like and how to shop for them.  But 3 bars a day?  I’m starving my body’s needs for natural foods and vitamins in order to satisfy my emotional needs for comfort, stability and consistency.

From here on, I’ll be packing baggies of fresh fruit and veggies and throwing them in Ziplock bags.  I can still control my portion sizes, eat snack-size meals and satisfy my emotional comfort needs without sacrificing nutrition.