The Life Ledger

Fitness is a way of life.

This is something I’ve posted elsewhere as comments, but thought I would aggregate the ideas here as a good reference document. And of course my disclosure: I’m married and we have combined funds.

There are pages upon pages information on the net about how interwoven couples’ finances should be. And with all of that information comes even more emotion.

The biggest reason I see on keeping things separate is spending on indulgences, either a person’s own or their Significant Others. I’d like to ask about the psychology behind that. Given the word choice and descriptions, it often seems these purchases would be outside what is considered normal living expenses: books, trips, movies, whatever. … I guess my confusion is why would you have to justify the purchases? Now before people say “that’s why we have separate accounts, so we don’t justify” I’m not asking that. My curiosity focuses on why one would expect that question to be asked in the first place. Do you think that you should be putting more money into the common pot? Or maybe your SO should be helping more?

At the same time there is a form of … separation. But that’s not the right word. Maybe deniability is better? Effectively it’s a way to distance yourself from what you think is wrong?

I’m just looking for insight tis why I ask. I know the limitations of my own experiences and always enjoying learning from others. In my wife and I’s case, we both have the mindset of being cheap for item’s for ourself while enjoying to treat the other. This occurred not only during dating but here and now in our first few years of marriage. So if one of us buys something there is definite cause of need. And we communicate for practically everything. If its over $100, just check base with the other. We have yet had any potential purchase where someone vetoed, its a good safety to check. Somewhat of 2nd party 5 second rule.

Another thought that I’ve had about the subject is a different take on paying bills separately. When you pay for a service yourself from personal money, it’s easy to create the thought it’s a subset of yours. If you work in a cube farm think about your computer. It’s not really yours. It’s owned by something larger. But you’ve probably generated a feeling of ownership since you use it regularly and without sharing.

Similarly running a household, or even raising a child, is something that is bigger than either person. If all of the child’s medical bills get paid from one account instead of another does that mean they have more claim on the kid? How about paying the mortgage? Is the house yours as singular or plural?

Given the fact that I won’t, and can’t, say what is right or wrong this is all my IMHO. To those that want their own mad money, I think there is one method I have seen that allows it within the this structure. Provide each an “allowance” out of the a main fund. That way it still provides the central account and goal you (plural) are working towards. At the same time the symbolism is important: You are both getting your “income” from the communal pool.

And I do want to say that what happened to some sucks. You trust your partner and what do they do? They wipe out the accounts and run with the money. Hopefully courts are able to ‘repair’ that, in a relatively short time. And I have no answer on how to either prevent that. I think it’s … the inherent weakness of being trusting of another person, be it a husband, wife, parent, heck even accountant.

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I used to drink at least four venti (large size for Starbucks n00bs) quad-shot caffe mochas a week. I have since given those up, but after reading about the “latte effect” on financial blogs like TheSimpleDollar, I got curious again - how many calories was I consuming with each quad-shot mocha? (For that matter, how many uncounted calories do we as Americans consume from beverages and snacks?) Turns out each venti quad-shot mocha was 390 calories (add 100 calories if you take whipped cream). While specifying skim milk drops the calories, most people, like me, just accept the default.

That’s a lot of calories for a drink. Some have even more:

• A venti hot chocolate is 450 (add 100 for whipped cream)
• A venti white chocolate mocha is 530 + 100
• A venti white hot chocolate 620 + 100
• Going for cold blended drinks? Venti fraps range from 260 (Tangerine) to 620 (Strawberries & Cream) - even the “healthy” Pomegranate has 390. Add 130 for whipped cream.
• Even the light blended coffee fraps have 200+ calories.

Adding a tasty treat to your tasty beverage? The lowest-calorie item is the lowfat blueberry muffin, weighing in at 280 calories. Other items range from 280 (plain bagel) to 520 (coffee crumble cake). Some items still have trans fats. Apparently, the nutrition information changes depending on location, so check out the Starbucks nutrition page more accurate info.

Now, before I get slammed again, like I did talking about Subway - yes, there are choices involved. You could choose a smaller drink. You could choose soy or skim milk (soy has more calories and, depending on brand, may have HFCS, by the way). You could choose a different drink - black coffee has nearly 0 calories. The point isn’t the choices you could make, it’s awareness of the choices you do make - how often did I mindlessly visit a Starbucks and walk out with a venti quad mocha and blueberry scone for a total of 800 uncounted calories? Uncounted, because it’s small, not a meal and mostly beverage. Were I not aware of the caloric value of these drinks, how can I make a healthy choice regarding my Starbucks consumption? Healthy lifestyle choices require mindful decisions, which I cannot make without educating myself on things I consume.

So, what about this “latte effect” I mentioned earlier? According to the basic premise, every time I would buy a $4 coffee, I should instead put that $4 into savings. Trent at The Simple Dollar presents a nice breakdown of the impact the latte effect could have:

If you walk into a coffee shop on your 25th birthday and plunk down $4 on a latte, that $4 goes away. If you just took that $4 and stuck it under your mattress for 40 years, you’d just have $4 when you’re 65. But if you took that $4 and put it in an investment that earns 5% (like a treasury note) for 40 years, you would have $28.16.

Let’s say again that you buy a latte a week until your 65th birthday. That’s 2080 lattes, which costs a total of $8,320 (and that assumes the price will not go up for 40 years, which means it’ll be more than that in reality). With that same investment, you’d have $26,590.67 at age 65.

Granted, there’s no direct analog to applying the latte effect to physical fitness - there’s no calorie bank you can places calories into when not spending them on a venti mocha, whereupon at age 65 you suddenly shed 80lbs. There are, however, two important concepts that do apply:

1. Every single calorie I consume counts towards weight loss.
   No matter how big or small - whether snack, meal or beverage - every single calorie contributes to obesity. Just like every single unbudgeted dollar spent keeps you from being rich, every single unbudgeted calorie consumed keeps you from your ideal weight. It is, of course, much more complicated than that, but the basic concept stands - count every calorie.
2. Every single food and exercise decision I make impacts my lifestyle.
   Saying to yourself “it won’t hurt to have a piece of chocolate just this once” is a fallacy - one choice becomes a pattern, patterns turn into habits, and habits become permanent mindless routine. Instead of reacting to a momentary impulse or craving, treat your body like a bank account and budget for that chocolate. Are you going to finger-food party later? Eat greens and fruits for your meals prior and walk an extra mile at lunch. Budgeting your calories helps you keep it real and honest, both with eating and finances. Before, I would charge a treat on my body’s charge card and pay finance charges - “I’ll walk an extra 20 minutes tonight to work off this chocolate.” Now, I budget ahead of time, making choices instead of reacting to impulses.

Now that I budget my calories and dollars, I have a healthier body and money in the bank. Still drinking those Starbucks drinks and eating Starbucks scones and muffins? Head over to http://www.starbucks.com/retail/nutrition_info.asp and start budgeting for your snacks, or apply the “latte effect” to your life and start saving what you’d spend. Your body, and your bank, will thank you.

Tax time is right around the corner, and if you’re like me and 73+ million others, you’ll be filing electronically this year - especially if you qualify for free e-filing.  Before you get started, here are some tips to preventing malware, spyware and other crap from making off with your tax and bank information.

Clean your (Windows-based) computer of any viruses or spyware.  There is a growing trend of not running anti-virus, anti-spyware or firewall software.  Even if you use real-time scanners, there are a couple of steps you should take:

1. Update your software.  Most security software apps rely on updates to definition lists and scanning engines.  Usually, real-time scanning software automatically updates, but it’s a good idea to hit the update button just to make sure.
2. Dump the debris.  Empty your temp files and temporary Internet files.  Although you can do this manually, I suggest using a software app with an easy-to-use interface and solid reputation in the anti-spyware community, like CCleaner.
3. Scan your computer.  Real-time scanners typically protect your computer by scanning files as they are used (opened, closed, saved, downloaded, etc), but it’s a good idea to run a manual scan once in a while.  After updating, initiate a manual scan and make some coffee - it’ll especially take a while if you enable advanced options like heuristics and archive scanning.
4. Get a second opinion.  When doing spyware/virus removals, I always use at least two different virus removal programs and several spyware removal apps.  IMPORTANT: if you install more than one antivirus software application, enable the real-time scanning engine for only ONE application.  My favorite freeware products include:
   • Antivirus
   • Avira AntiVir
   • AVG
   • Avast
   • Spyware
   • Ewido
   • Spybot S&D
   • Adaware SE Personal
   • A-squared
   • Inoculate / Sandbox
   • SpywareBlaster
   • Sandboxie
5. Get a third opinion.  Use a web-based scanner, like PCPitstop or Trend.

Look for the padlock.  Make sure the address starts with https://, which indicates a secure connection with your bank or e-filing institution.  You may have to log in before the secure connection is initiated.

File with Linux.  Many Linux distributions offer a “live cd” version - pop this disc in your drive, boot from the disc and you have a fresh operating system complete with a browser for online banking and finance.  Ubuntu is a popular choice right now (I personally use Kubuntu, as I don’t like the Gnome interface), is frequently updated and is easy to learn.  If you become a linux convert, you can easily install the live cd onto your computer to speed bootup and file access.  Using a live CD prevents any malware infection possibly residing on your computer from snagging your financial information.  Of course, this option only works if you’re filing and banking through an Internet website.

Geek out - use a virtual machine.  A “virtual machine” (at least in this context) is a software application that emulates a second computer.  By installing a virtual machine application, you create a “sandbox”, or self-contained operating system that does not spread malware and virus infections to the entire computer.  This stuff is geeky and doesn’t lend itself to a short description; for more information, see wikipedia’s entry on generic usage of VMWare.  Popular virtual machine applications include VMWare (free versions here), Microsoft VirtualPC, Parallels and Xen.

While there are several approaches to installing and using the virtual machine, for maximum security you should format your computer to ensure no virus or malware infections exist, then immediately install the virtual machine for general Internet use.  If formatting is not an option, at the very least thoroughly clean your Windows host as outlined above before installing and using the virtual machine.  Simply installing a virtual machine inside your existing Windows host for e-filing and banking is not the most secure approach, as keyloggers and malware infecting your host operating system would still have access to information you type into the virtual machine.  The idea is to contain infection to the sandboxed virtual machine.

Never, EVER respond to solicitations for information.  Paypal doesn’t need to know your username and password, and your bank would never contact you via e-mail with a clickable link and an account termination notice.  If in doubt, always verify e-mail solicitations with a phone call.

Have tips of your own?  I’d love to hear them - share them in the comments below.

New Year’s Resolutions are like spam, dreams of financial gain or weight loss without form to re-enforce their promises.

In writing a previous post I had the above epiphany. It was to be my closure, but it struck a chord. It is simple, memorable, but with more than a grain of truth. So after some discussion with Cris, decided to give it a story of its own.

So why am I having a hard time writing? Both Spam and New Years Resolutions are common enough in our culture. Maybe it’s because no one really takes either one very seriously. The average person gets 7 or more pieces of spam a day. And experience shows how few people actually believe them, all being sent unread to the digital trash. Can the same not be said for New Year’s Resolutions? Look at how long most people keep them. I was making my first resolutions at age 10, only to be broken within 3 months.

There are similarities though in how they play with our psyches. Both encourage the impulse for a quick fix, but usually only end up helping someone else. How healthy do you think your retirement fund is going to be if you chase after “pump and dump” stocks? Or are you expecting that inheritance from a mysterious prince? It’s easy enough to ride that horse to death, so I’ll stop.

So why do we then lie to ourselves about future changes in actions, when we refuse to maintain the needed willpower to follow through? Maybe my google-fu is weak but I couldn’t find any research on how long people take to decide on their resolutions. But in the beginning of December, co-workers usually starting asking each other “what are your resolutions for next year”? Most of the time, people get that look of concentration, do a cursory self evaluation, and choose the least painful thing to promise. So few put actual thought into these “life changes”, requesting more time for serious contemplation.

This is why Cris and I both advocate that people should instead plan out their goals, approaching them as an integral part of life. Usually the same whims that lead you towards fitness are those that can cause you to stumble.

The Simple Dollar led me to a great post this morning at An English Major’s Money; this paragraph in particular resonated with the paradigm shift I’m going through:

I guess the point here is that the way you spend is determined by the way you live and the way you think. I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately: money is so much more than math. It’s about personality, and conscience, and comfort, and childhood, and habit, and belief, and culture.

I think that’s spot-on.  I recently came to the conclusion that my spending habits and eating habits were inter-related, and as I made lifestyle changes that slimmed my waistline, my wallet grew as well.  I decided that eating and spending are both under the umbrella of “consuming”, and realized my lifestyle dicates my consumption and my thoughts dicate my lifestyle.

Ok, so the words are nice, but how does it apply to my life?  When I look back at how I set weight-loss goals, I realize I have followed a pattern that illustrates how some small changes I made resulted in a tremendous lifestyle shift.  Some of the early small changes were:

I wanted to change.  The catalyst for me was cholesterol - my doctor wanted to put me on cholesterol medication, and I decided I wasn’t that person.  I emotionally invested myself in the lifestyle change I wanted to make - I did not want to be the dad that couldn’t keep up with his child’s first bike experience.  I did not want to be the fat man at Disney that couldn’t fit into the Mount Everest ride.

I redefined how I thought about my self.  The trick here was to think positively about the change I would implement, not negatively about the person I was at the time.  I am the choices I make, not the way the world makes me - by redefining my “self” as a choice to live a healthy lifestyle, I overcame being overwhelmed or depressed about my weight and appearance.

I kept a positive attitude.  I consciously sought positive changes and celebrated them - less fat in high-profile areas like my chin and armpits; stopped snoring; more endurance; less appetite.  I found that just by having a positive attitude, I actually starting enjoying those things that I resisted before, like broccoli and exercise.  Now, not only is it part of a routine, I do really enjoy riding the bike, eating raw veggies and drinking 3 quarts of water a day.

I studied my own reactions.  Impulse buying, impulse eating - it’s the same thing, a mindless reaction to an outside stimulus (Dave calls it his unconscious acts).  I began practicing a point of awareness - consciously recognized my choices when otherwise I would mindlessly react.  Walking through the DVD section at Best Buy, where normally I would almost subconsciously reach out and grab any movie I had an emotional attachment to and purchase it, I now consciously stop, pick it up, look at it, make a choice on purchase and usually put it back.  Trent at The Simple Dollar calls it his ten second rule, and I like that description (although sometimes it takes a little longer than ten seconds, like that durn scale I want) - take ten seconds to give yourself a chance to consciously make a choice rather than subconsciously reacting.

For me, lifestyle change started with the way I think.  I needed to think positively, consciously and diligently.  Thinking about the food I put in my mouth every time gives me time to evaluate what I’m eating, how much I’m eating, how fast I’m eating, and those ten-second evaluations become lifestyle habit changes.  Thinking about what I purchase every time I buy something gives me time to evaluate what I’m purchasing, and those ten-second evaluations become lifestyle habit changes.

No matter what I’m consuming, be it food, retail purchases, opinions, mass-media TV, or a spiritual leader’s statements, I now approach it from a place of power - I evaluate my responses and choose instead of react.